Wow-wee a race report, this is a novel experience! Time to dust of the olldddd joke book and see what hilarious buffoonery, mummery, tomfoolery and drollery I can bust out for what promises to be a lack luster at best "race report" (I am a little rusty)
It was time, time for me to make the jump and get back into the racing scene. I had three choices, Karri Valley where I would be facing the likes of Guy "it's not a perm, it's real" Crawford (may have used that joke before...), James "I could actually survival backstroke on land faster than you could run" Lewin and Andrew "our house doesn't actually have carpet it's my loose chest hair" Tyack, not a good first option.
Then there was Hillary's the next day. "Hrm" I thought. "Series final, triathletes vying for the win, actual talent...I AM STEERING THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT RACE"
There had to be something else, something. Total Tri to the rescue. It just so happened my good mates Dan and Chad were heading up to the port city of Geraldton for the annual Olympic Distance Tri. Excellent I thought to myself, I'll sneak up there and with a little luck possibly even grab a cheeky podium in my glorious return to racing!!
My lovely girlfriend Paige and I reached Geraldton around 7pm after attending the wedding of the century a few hours earlier (congrats again Luke and Rachael). A quick feed and we checked into the sweet digs the guys had organised. This gave me a chance to spend about 4 hours looking at this pretty, bad boy, tonight Paige was sleeping on the couch.
After a night filled with dreams everything Slice related I was up early and prepping to race! It was around this time that my dreams of victory were CRUSHED. Why Mark tell us more!! Well ardent reader let me drop 3 names for you. Courtney Ogden, Brad Wall and Ben Lyons, feck. This was going to be a killer race
Before I knew it we were lined up on the beach for a 2 lap, calm beach swim. The horn went and Ben had actually already finished the swim, seriously that guy is an axe in the water. I attempted to jump on Courtney's feet however I'd missed the boat trying to get Ben to drag me clear of the pack. As a result I settled in on a mate Dougals feet for the rest of the swim. As we excited the water he was nice enough to give me a tap on the back and a good luck. I ran up ripped the wetty off and mounted my trusty new steed for my first ride ever on her!! (yet to be named)
I was onto the bike in 5th behind Ben, Courtney, Brad Wall and 4th-y. I was flying on the way out and feeling GOOD!! Until the turn around. "Sweet baby Jebus" I exclaimed to myself, there was quite a headwind heading back into town. I pushed through and unfortunately passed Ben Lyons on the side of the road at about 19k. He had a flat, I was genuinely disappointed for him and/or anyone who had made the trip to only get a flat that couldn't be repaired. Through the town a quick wave to my fans and I was heading out again, engaging warp speed!!
Again happy to have the tail wind behind me I hit up my super secret caffeine recipe for the return trip home into the wind tunnel. The slice was handling beautifully and for my first ride I was stoked. The ride was pretty uneventful and I was just focusing on limiting my losses (fairly unsuccessfully). Finally I reached T2 after a nothing unsuccessful battle with mother headwind and with a quick transition and a cheer I was off seeing who, if anyone I could run down.
Fortunately for me my running legs were at least with me. Hurrah!! I went out at what seemed like a sustainable pace and felt good. Just past the aid station about 3k in I moved into 5th passing young uber bike mc wilson. The gap to 4th was still fairly reasonable so I continued to push.....can't think of another joke so INSERT PICTURE!!
With a couple of k to go on the run it was pretty clear I wasn't going to catch 4th, so I eased up a little and enjoyed the run home clocking up the second fastest run behind Courtney. I crossed the finish line in 5th overall behind some quality competition. Geraldton Tri Club really did a great job with this race, great organisation, set up and volunteers. I will be back next year fo sho!!
Next up for me I am heading to Kalgoorlie Olympic Distance for a final little tune up before the Busso Half. Thanks for checking in!!
